Nourishments

Friday, March 2nd, 2012

…(Continuing my conversation from Feb. 29– LEAP YEAR!!!– about being fully ourselves.)…

Another thing I teach my clients and workshoppers is how to be nourished. One of my favorite past clients (now starting a successful new career that requires a lot of world travel– I’ve got to get my Skype account set up!!) came to me originally because he couldn’t stop eating chocolate cake. He wasn’t overweight, but he knew there was something unhealthy in the way he kept turning to food for comfort.

It took several sessions, but eventually we did talk about food, comfort, and the larger concept of self-nourishment. You see, so many wonderful people in my community regularly use food to either comfort or punish themselves. They eat too much, they eat as a reward, they eat to stuff down unhappy emotions, or they starve themselves because they didn’t get it just exactly perfect. Whatever “it” was.

But as I explained to my past client– Nourishment is about so much more than food. We nourish ourselves emotionally, physically (food is just one aspect of this), mentally, spiritually, and through community. Thus, a lack of any of these forms of nourishment can leave us feeling empty at times. And since we’re so good at using food to fill those empty spots– we eat. Chocolate cake being a common favorite.

But what if you could eat a balanced and appropriate-to-you diet, and still feel fully nourished at the end of the day? Next time you feel hungry, but know you don’t need more food, try nourishing some other aspect of your being. Try letting yourself feel honestly– feel sad, or angry, or disappointed, or joyful. Try talking to a trusted friend, or calling a loved one and asking them what they love about you– nourish yourself emotionally and with community. Try challenging your mind with something new and fun. Or, if your day already includes a lot of technical thinking, try sitting still and staring at something that is naturally beautiful, unique, and imperfect. Let your mind rest. Try staring at a tree, or a mountain, or a river. Take a walk, or a nap, to nourish your body in a new way.

Self-nourishment doesn’t have an agenda. It doesn’t even have a timeline or a “fail rate.”

But it does require us to acknowledge what we have been denying ourselves. And if you’re like me, it isn’t chocolate cake.

Be Nourished. Be Fulfilled. Be Well.

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Who Are You, Really?

Wednesday, February 29th, 2012

I’ve seen a lot of TV shows with this theme lately– the idea that we can’t know who we are unless we know for a fact where we came from. And embedded in this theme is the idea that “where I came from” is a biological genealogy.

Granted, I’ve got a fairly well-traced family history myself, so tell me if I’m wrong. But with that bias in mind, a large part of the Life Coaching work I do with many of my clients is to sort out and separate their past from their present and future. Because where we came from is not just about the fact that I have my mother’s knees. We grow into adults based on the experiences we’ve had, AND the genetics our ancestors gave us. In some ways, not knowing our ancestors gives us less to unlearn. For example, I sometimes wish I didn’t know the lesson my favorite aunt taught me– that it is possible to die of regret.

In the Self-Centering Woman (Embodiment) workshop series, we talk about the “rules” for surviving that we learned as children, and as young adults. Everything from “you have to make everyone else happy because that’s  your job as a female” to rules like “you’ll never be good enough” to even simpler rules, like the one I used to believe that “making spaghetti sauce with red beans and no meat is normal.” As adults, we have the opportunity to consciously go through those old tapes in our heads, and remove the ones that no longer support our survival in the world.

And that has everything to do with our experiences of life to date, and almost nothing to do with our biology or genetics. So it seems a false paradigm to me to spend your whole life feeling lost and bewildered and short-changed about WHO YOU ARE because you don’t know what your biological grandfather did for a living before you were born. Yes, we all yearn for a sense of belonging. But sometimes even HAVING your biological family raise you doesn’t provide that. Trust me, I have many clients who are struggling with their desire to belong, their lack of belonging, even to their own parents.

To belong is to believe in yourself. To know what you believe, who you are, and how you got that way. To know who you are is to consciously take in those formative life experiences you’ve had, to make peace with the good and the bad of your past as you lived it (but not to forget it), and to choose how you want to live and behave from now on. What do YOU value? Not the need to look perfect at all times because mom always expected it. Nobody is perfect. Rather, do you want to be an accountant because it is a safe and respectable job, or because you love solving the number mysteries accounting gives you and it lets you save for retirement?

We all learn from our own mistakes. But we do get to decide what lessons those mistakes hold for us. We can redefine the “ideal career.” We can re-vision the “ideal look.” We can even re-imagine what is possible in our own lives. Is the lesson that we don’t belong, even to ourselves? That we aren’t worth doing our best for? Or will you choose to understand that now you’ve learned how you DON’T want to do things, you know how you DO want to do things next time. And you can be proud of yourself for surviving those challenges, and using them to plan a future in which you– and your sense of belonging in your own life– thrive.

Be Well.

| Posted in To Your Health, authored by: S. Brooke Elliott | Comments Off

Making Peace with Money

Sunday, February 26th, 2012

I  know I’ve written about this book before, but it is still one of my all-time favorites. Jerrold Mundis wrote Making Peace with Money as a result of his own personal experience, and from a place of great wisdom and community-awareness. Whether we make good money or not, many of us struggle with hidden beliefs, fears and frustrations with money. This book lights the way toward a better relationship with the concept, and a better handle on the function and flow of actual cash.

Making Peace with Money is a process for just that– and each chapter contains a personal story, a lesson, an opportunity to practice that lesson, and an exercise that will contribute to your ability to make money, well. Each chapter closes with several pages of quotes from various wise men and women throughout history and throughout the world. There are enough quotes and fables that I always find one or two that fit my personal challenges and breakthroughs about my relationship with money. I love this book. I think you will, too.

For a list of the books you can find on my professional shelf, and other books I might just suggest as “homework” someday, please visit my website, and check out the link to Brooke’s Books.
Be Well.

| Posted in Brooke's Books, Resources, authored by: S. Brooke Elliott | 1 Comment »

Healthy House Building

Friday, February 24th, 2012

With my recent diagnosis of moderate MCS, and my realization that the rental we currently live in is making me sick, I found a great book at the library called Healthy House Building for the New Millennium, by John Bower. John’s wife has MCS, and he’s a construction worker and home system design guru. So now he designs and builds houses for people like me. People who want to be healthy in their own homes. People who want to go Green, and those with MCS. This book shares his safe-house-building wisdom with folks who want to build a healthy home for themselves.

Two things that really stand out about this book (at least for me) are that I understood everything he was talking about, and that he put one kick-ass list of resources at the back of the book. This author translates construction/builder code into functional standard english. And his resources cover a variety of challenging materials for folks with MCS. Furniture, clothing, home systems, home finishes, water purifiers, curtains, paint, etc etc etc. And since every person who has MCS reacts and suffers a little bit differently, getting to read about a variety of building and furnishing materials, safe home-building techniques, AND where to actually buy the things YOU need for YOUR MCS… it’s a really big relief.

It is my dream to someday live in a Healthy House that I get to design (and help build) for myself. When I reach that goal, Healthy House Building will definitely be the first thing I buy.

For a list of the books you can find on my professional shelf, and other books I might just suggest as “homework” someday, please visit my website, and check out the link to Brooke’s Books.
Be Well.

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Telling the Future

Thursday, February 23rd, 2012

I read an interesting article (posted on Twitter by @S_WhiteBear who waxes eloquent on all things Shamanic) about foretelling future events, and the effects of doing so. And since I JUST read it, you get two posts today instead of one.

The article I read focused on the biblical story of Nineveh, an old town with very angry and selfish residents. Someone foretold the demise of Nineveh, and as a result the residents worked hard to change themselves and their town for the better. And there was no longer a need to force changes upon the residents through catastrophe. I think there’s relevance to this discussion of the impact of foretelling today, too.

In my Healing and Whole-Life Coaching practice, many of my clients have come to trust my sense of “what’s coming.” Trust between a client and healer is important. But there’s also a challenge here. No matter how often I clarify that I can only say what is LIKELY, based on the current direction of events and choices, my friends and clients often ask me to tell them what IS. And that’s dangerous.

First, you should never rely on someone else to tell you who you are, and what’s possible in your life. You might limit your options or yourself based on someone else’s misunderstanding. If you’re going to choose a life, choose it for yourself. Even if you learn from a mistake, and have the opportunity to choose again. Was it your mistake (and thus a chance to grow as an active individual) or was it a repeat of the same mistake over and over– the mistake of letting someone else tell you who you are?

And Second, we are responsible for our own futures. If you don’t like the way things are heading, YOU CAN CHANGE DIRECTION! So when I say what I think is a likely outcome in someone’s future, I am careful to also explain that I don’t know for sure– because that person has the ability to make different choices, and bring about a different (hopefully better!) future outcome. We are the authors of our own story.

And in fact, that is the basis of my work as a healer and workshop facilitator: I provide tools, insights and support so that each person I work with can become conscious of the life-story they are creating, and then move toward best-self living. Get intentional. Create a better future for yourself. Live Well.

Yes, I can tell you where you’re headed right now. Though sometimes folks don’t really WANT to know. They prefer to believe that X+Q=3. Which makes no sense from my perspective. But a Fortune Teller I am not. There are too many forks in the road– opportunities to take a different path. To live a better life. Too many unexpected challenges to find fulfillment for who you are, and not who you are supposed to be.

So mostly, I work with What Is. With today’s reality, and helping folks put together an intentional tool kit so that the next step they take will be solidly on the path of their choice. So that they feel prepared to meet THIS fork in the road. And I label myself a Healer and a Whole-Life Coach, and sometimes a Wise Woman (read: Sage), because those are the more important of my skills.

Besides, leaving the future unwritten makes room for something more beautiful and healing and unexpectedly wonderful than we can ever imagine ahead of time. And I like to carry a pocket full of hope wherever I go. Enough to share, and then some.

Be Well.

| Posted in A Wish For Tomorrow, authored by: S. Brooke Elliott | 1 Comment »

About Me… and Living Intentionally

Wednesday, February 22nd, 2012

I’ve spent the last ten months dealing with a strange, painful and itchy rash on my hands and shoulders and shins and face. My first attempts to heal this rash included the natural healing stuff I already know– herbs, EOs, energy work, etc. Nothing worked. Then I tried changing up my diet. (And now I know that gluten is not my friend, nor are soy lecithin, sulphides, nitrates and other preservatives, most toiletry products including soap and toothpaste, and my favorite nut– the filbert.) It helped, some. I even found alternative soaps and toothpastes.

But I still have the rash. In fact, it currently covers most of both hands, which is the worst it’s been and done yet. At least it isn’t currently on my neck or forehead. That is always unhappy and exhausting for me.

I worked with an Allergist, and a Dermatologist– both skilled and capable professionals that I would gladly recommend to anyone. Except that for all the information they DID give me, I still have the rash. And I’m not ready to be on antibiotics and steroids for the rest of my life. I also worried– especially when my forehead was a red, weapy mess– that it was a ridiculous (some might say RASH) thing to try and earn my living as a healer when OBVIOUSLY I wasn’t at the peak of health myself. But clients still came, and we still made awesome life-changing progress together, and they still recommend me to others, so I’ve stopped worrying so much about that. My healing skills aren’t sick, after all.

Finally, from reading about celiac’s disease (allergy to wheat and gluten), I came across more and more references to MCS– Multiple Chemical Sensitivity. And the more I read, the closer I came to realizing that I might fit into that category, too. MCS.

So I called my insurance company to find out if any local doctors specializing in Environmental Medicine were on the “in-network” list. My insurance company had never heard of MCS, nor Environmental Medicine. Not even the supervisor’s supervisor had heard of it. So I did a google search, and found that there is a CENTER FOR ENVIRONMENTAL MEDICINE right in Portland. YAY!!! And even better, the doctor who is now managing my MCS treatment plan is actually “in-network!” Even if a lot of the treatments that might detoxify my neurologic, immune and hormonal systems are not covered by my insurance. There is hope.

I might be able to type without pain from the rash on my fingers. I might be able to have ENERGY for more than three days a week. I might be able to eat chocolate again. And use actual dish soap so I can wash my own dishes. And eat at a nice restaurant without paying for it in itchy bumps and exhaustion for days after. WOW! HOW COOL IS THAT?!

Of course, the first thing the doctor did was proscribe a variety of lab tests so that we can know for sure what is causing my symptoms. This doctor plans to treat the CAUSE, and not just the symptoms, dontcha know. And of course, this meant that they took six or seven (I tried not to count, and then I was too woozy to count) large and full vials of my blood. And then I drove from Portland to Boondockia to run errands, totally forgetting about little things like lunch. Sigh.

So this week is now officially a rest week for me. Which means lots of naps, a little exercise and fresh air, yummy food that I make from scratch (with only ingredients I KNOW I do well with) including lunches, and perhaps I’ll catch up on my blogging and book-reading and cat-skritching in between naps.

That way, I’ll be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, with a smile in my heart and a lilt in my step, and words that are beautiful, when I come down to Portland this Friday. The workshop I’m teaching on Friday (from 3:30 to 6:30 pm at the SisterSpirit Office) is one of the Lifeway Learning classes I offer– Living Intentionally: Organize and Prioritize Your Lifeway. This workshop encourages effective goal-setting. We talk about what it takes to set an intention, and live by it. How to know when you’ve reached your goal, and how to integrate your personal values with your intentions and goals. We even talk about each person’s realistic next-steps in relation to the goals and intentions and values you’ve set.

So for me, this week is about practicing what I teach: Knowing that my goal is to offer the best support, tools and insights that I have to each of my workshop attendees and individual clients. Knowing that I need to shift my priorities and next-steps and goals for this week so that I can reach my goals with you this Friday and Saturday. Knowing that my priority for the next few days is to nourish myself– rest my mind, fuel my body, get lots of hugs, and give thanks to All That Is for what I can do when I am at my best as a Healer and Sage and Shaman.

If you are ready to Live Intentionally and reach some of  your outstanding goals, Join Me this Friday, February 24th. And above all, Be Well. I know I will.

| Posted in Research/Info, To Your Health, Workshops, authored by: S. Brooke Elliott | 2 Comments »

Wildlife

Tuesday, February 21st, 2012

Walking the dog yesterday, I heard a woodpecker testing it’s stereo system. Seriously, this big brown bird was perched on my neighbor’s roof, tat-tat-tat-tat-tating away at his metal chimney pipe. And it echoed.

Then, there were the two little Junko birds in the back yard. They were practicing synchronized flitting. Hopping along in tandem, stopping at the same time, pecking the ground a bit here, flitting on to a more likely spot in the grass– and carefully checking to make sure they were always exactly 14 inches apart. At one point, they turned opposite directions to peck, and accidentally wandered about 2 feet apart. The one who noticed first went RACING back to his position, 14 inches from his partner. Now I understand where ballet came from.

We also get a lot of deer and skunks out this way. Herds. Of skunks. My partner has a theory that they are wandering around together, because every time he takes the dog out for one last tinkle at bedtime, he sees a herd of deer, and smells a local skunk. I think the deer just got sprayed by the skunk at some point, but I don’t want to spoil his theory.

Speaking of wildlife, our neighbors have an interesting sense of humor. I was driving past a big empty field recently (neighbors– in Boondockia) and glimpsed a large fox running for all it was worth. A second LONGER look (that almost landed me in the ditch) clarified that I was seeing a planted metal cutout of an oversized fox running at full speed. In the middle of an empty field. In Boondockia.

And every time the dog passes the place where my cat is sleeping, a long declawed paw SHOOTS OUT and whaps him once or twice, and disappears again. But the cat is sleeping, so we still don’t know whose paw that is. Of course, the dog manages to get really excited and accidentally stumble over the cat in his excitement that HEY– THE HUMANS MIGHT BE GOING TO STAND IN FRONT OF THE DOG TREAT BAG!!!! at least twice a day. But, seriously, it’s an accident, so you can’t be angry at him for that. …I figure if the cat had claws, things would be a little more even. But she doesn’t. Thank goodness.

That was my weekend. Lots of little mysteries to enjoy, and lots of opportunities to laugh at the way my world works. How was your weekend? How is your world working these days?
Be Well.

| Posted in Laughter Makes the Best Medicine, authored by: S. Brooke Elliott | Comments Off

Wow!

Monday, February 13th, 2012

Can you believe that Julie’s makes organic gluten-free ice cream sandwiches?! My narrow little world just got wider again. (insert happy sigh here)

AND they come in a little recyclable round tube thingy. VERY cute, and difficult to smush with canned goods while driving home from the store. We tested it.

…. Happy….

| Posted in authored by: S. Brooke Elliott | Comments Off

Beach Being

Saturday, February 11th, 2012

Can you believe it’s February already??

Imbolic/Candlemas was on February 2nd. Also, apparently, Groundhog Day. According to my twitter feeds, and the fact that it snowed again this week, winter isn’t over yet. So I’m lighting a candle, and celebrating all that is warm and gloriously alive at this time of year. For me, Candlemas symbolizes the return of the light, the opportunity to clean house and start the year fresh… I love February. The storms and the sun seem to chase each other around, and both are beautiful.

I’ve also been challenging myself to actually take time off. This may account for the lower frequency of blogs this month, sorry. And I’m not just taking time off from work to run errands and do other tasks– but really– time off of any schedule “must-do” activity. Time in which to just BE, notice how beautiful Mother Nature is, and allow all the experiences and learning opportunities I’ve had to really meld. When I make time for what I’ve learned to blend with who I am, it’s easy to become a better me. To move forward with all I’ve done effectively. All because I took time to stop, rest, and catch up with myself.

Recently, in an effort to just BE a little more effectively, I spent a day at the beach. Walking, picnicking on the organic humus and carrots and garlic-olives I brought. Watching a bit of glass turn into a beautiful flowing multicolor form in the hands of an expert glassblower. Laughing at all the happy dogs running and digging and sniffing on the sand, and losing myself in the rhythm of the crashing waves. It was time off, well-spent.

This month, I hope for you that there is time to stop. Rest. And allow who you are to meld with all you’ve accomplished or experienced.

Be Well.

| Posted in A Wish For Tomorrow, To Your Health, authored by: S. Brooke Elliott | Comments Off

The Road Less Traveled

Thursday, February 9th, 2012

I’m only three chapters into this book (The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values, and Spiritual Growth by M. Scott Peck, M.D.), and I LOVE IT! The author manages to combine life experiences, deep understandings of lessons (rules) learned in childhood, and adult outcomes from those childhood experiences. He turns these stories and threads of experience into an adult awareness of what we are missing, and how we can get it back.

The funny thing is, this man grew up saying things he shouldn’t. He probably managed to offend just about everyone by saying what was true, and not what was polite. Now, as a skilled counselor, he uses his truth-telling tendency to share a deeper understanding of where we came from, and how we can do better for our own children.

For example, the first line of the book says, “Life is difficult.” So true! He goes on to talk about delayed gratification as a life lesson, and the importance of openness to challenge. He clarifies that “The tendency to avoid challenge is so omnipresent in human beings…” When we get counseling, “we deliberately lay ourselves open to the deepest challenge … and even pay the other for the service of scrutiny and discernment.” (page 53)

While I am learning much about follow-through, I am also reminded of how important it is to let our lives serve as an example of What TO DO RIGHT for our children– and for our community at large– and to let our words simply mirror our experience. “Do what I say, not what I do” can lead to some pretty messed up understandings of the world. There’s a better way to be, and so far, I think this book delivers.

For a list of the books you can find on my professional shelf, and other books I might just suggest as “homework” someday, please visit my website, and check out the link to Brooke’s Books.
Be Well.

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